Having two of my favorite people become terminally ill around the same time is more difficult than you could possibly imagine. Even, when all is said and done--both have passed, I can't imagine it. It is that horrific. But, that is life and the only thing you can do is try to let it change you for the better. Months and months of treatment, doctor's appointments, new treatments, traveling to far away places for experimental treatment, all while attempting to work full time has taught me a lot about patience. Basically we all lived the serenity prayer for a couple of years. Our lives slowed down. Superficiality flew out the window. Dealing with life and death makes mundane conversations almost antagonistic. My closest friends would inadvertently say or do things that would create more anxiety for me or more pain. They didn't know, how could they. They aren't me. This is where patience comes in. Again, I can choose to react with anger, resentment or pain, or I can be patient and know that this too will pass. Because I was home so much with Alex, I took up quilting. It's difficult to just sit and be at the ready for somebody without having something you can quickly put down and then pick up later when you're available. Quilting became my activity. I've sewn since I was very young and picking it up again gave me renewed interest in how wonderful it is to have a creative outlet. I also was able to dream about what to make by surfing the net as I waited for my next "duty" or "request". I was able to spend a lot of quality time with Alex (less with my mom, but still got that in) and continue to do something I enjoyed. So, life goes on and one of the psuedo stepsons got married in July, just about the time I was bringing Alex home from a 2 month stay in the hospital. I missed the wedding but have been working on their wedding quilt since before the wedding. Finally finished it this morning.
Terminal illness, losing a son and my mom within two weeks of each other forced me to develop patience. Quilting continues to reinforce it. :)